Pregnancy Book Review & Contest Give Away: Your Best Birth

PREGNANCY BOOK REVIEW & BOOK CONTEST GIVE AWAY:

(Let's do a take II shall we? Since my first give-a-away effort was a horrible FLOP! *snicker*)

I got my hands on an advanced copy of Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein's book

Your Best Birth: Know All Your Options, Discover the Natural Choices and Take Back the Birth Experience.

First Impressions:
I must say at a first skim through the preface and various chapters of this book, I immediately got turned off. At first blush, the book seemingly has a heavy focus on Natural Vaginal Births and that is a very sour subject for me, a woman who delivered each of her THREE children via C-SECTIONS. For a long time, I used to feel inadequate about not having given birth the "natural" way as God intended, if you will. I even used to get a rush of jealousy when I would hear of a friend who had a birth without medical surgical intervention. For some reason, I feel and have felt less than a mom having not gone through that "right of passage" all mothers have gone through. I've since come to embrace the reality as I do not intend to have any more children and will most likely never experience a vaginal birth. I belabor the point, but I did not think I'd come away from the book feeling good at all.

Second Chance:
Well, I decided to give the book a chance anyway and thus in between client obligations, doing loads of laundry and hauling children to sports activities and music lessons, I took in bits and pieces. A chapter here and there. At the end, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I actually liked it and would recommend it!

Ricki and Abby use a very conversational, down to earth tone and language to provide a matter of fact, real perspective of their personal experiences and the experiences of other women. They explain, without too much medical terminology and jargon, what a mother-to-be can expect during the birthing process. In any event, Your Best Birth is all about knowing your options and decoding the language of the hospital. The authors take the time to interpret some of the reasons hospitals give mothers for making their decisions. It is a useful resource even for that discussion alone, because it is a very stressful time during labor and who has time to psychoanalyze what's being said at that very moment? Getting educated on some of these issues in advance is crucial.

Demystifying the "Hollywood" portrayal of Birth
I could instantly relate to the foreword by Dr. Jacquis Moritz who talks about the "Hollywood" idealized portrayal of the pregnancy OB experience where you get to interview and select from among many doctors. She references the movie "Knocked Up." Certainly, many women who have gone through the process, if they are not part of a HMO, know that group practices are common and that many times you do not even deliver your baby with the doctor you saw throughout your pregnancy. Dr. Moritz gives a great overview about what to expect and the topics to be discussed within the rest of the book: the focus is on empowering women to get educated and knowledgeable and to make decisions for themselves and not get pressured into doing the expected as is common in hospital births.

The book opens with summaries of Ricki and Abby's birthing experiences with their children. They both had their first child in hospitals and Abby had a C-section. Through the experience, though none really too traumatic, they got interested in learning more and looking for alternatives to the hospital birthing process. They explored and later learned about home births, midwives, birthing centers and the value of Doulas. The remainder of the book attempts to address the stigma associated with "home births" by providing matter of fact and straight forward explanation of what they are like and what women considering these options can expect.

Mothers-to-be Giving in...
I do wish I had that type of book 7 years ago when I was about to deliver my first child, because I would have been more empowered and would not have succumb to pressure from my doctor to deliver via C section. One thing they point out in the book is that women are very eager to please and a too quick to not want to offend. We, as women, are often guilty of wanting to accommodate a doctor who has had a long night with you and may be eager to go home, or a nurse who insists you should get the epidural even though you feel you may be able to bear with the pain a little longer. For my first child, he simply was progressing slow and the doctor said she felt the labor was going to be too long for his poor little heart. I could have asked for medical or natural options to progress my labor and kept at it, but I gave in to the surgery because she said I could have my baby by noon that day! After 24+ hours of inactive and active labor, who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to know the exact time you'd be getting your baby?

What's inside
The book is full of "checklists" as you see in many books, but for the alternative: What to expect of your birthing center; questions for your doula, how to put together a birthing team, interviewing your physician.

And because Americans idolize celebrities so much, they even include side bars with the experiences of Laila Ali, Cindy Crawford, Kellie Martin and Melissa Joan Hart. Each of these women had unique experiences that the average American woman having gone through the birthing process can appreciate. They also mention those celebrities who elect for C-Sections, for vain reasons, if you ask me, though they make no judgment of those celebrities. Well enough, because smart women can take away from it as they see it. No need to spell it out in BIG RED LETTERS. I know I got the point.

Another plus about the book, one I felt there should have been more of, was the "red flag" side bars. For example, one side bar talked about factor about a midwife's practice you should consider as a clear sign to not hire her.

I was also pleasantly surprised to see the authors address sexual abuse victims and how the birthing process could affect them and cause to resurface old feelings about their abusive past. Like Ricki, 30% of women in America are victims of abuse and I, for one, could appreciate finally a pregnancy book that took a thoughtful approach to addressing a sad reality that so many women have faced and gone through. It is indeed refreshing and I appreciated the effort.

One negative aspect:
At times, their answers weren't all the time helpful for me because they didn't seem backed by enough statistics or researched facts. At one point, they argued that deceleration of the baby's heart is not necessarily a clear sign of distress, and that a cord wrapped around a baby's neck is not clear evidence that a baby would be born still. While I do understand that often times the fear of litigation and that the baby and maternal heart rate charts do end up in courts during malpractice law suits, it seemed a little reckless to me to suggest that the risks may be worth it. I wouldn't want to be the mother who read this book and ignores medical advice that the baby may be in fetal distress and end up delivering a baby that later suffers from cerebral palsy. The authors didn't back up some of their assertions with researched facts to make me comfortable on some discussions.

Nonetheless, because I am a big advocate for going with the flow and not being too rudimentary or having too high an expectations that your delivery would go as planned, I am well aware of what to expect. For my first kid, I got duped into a C-Section. I attempted a VBAC with my second. I learned very early on that my doctor who practiced at my OB Practice (one of those with patients that included Washington DC's richest and most connected) was not happy of my decision to attempt the VBAC. He tried to talk me out of it many times, and in the end when I insisted, shoved the consent form in the back of my chart without fully going over what it meant to be going for a VBAC and offered no support whatsoever. I came close to delivering VBAC but for my son's rapid heart deceleration on account of the cord being wrapped around his neck. Without much discussion and warning, I was whisked away to surgery dosed up on extra anesthesia that I didn't need and delivered another C-section baby. Though I take the risk of cerebral palsy seriously, I do think in hindsight that that kid DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE MADE it because he came out fighting the nurses and hasn't stopped fighting since! Ha! I jest

My last labor was the easiest. After my water bag broke with a trickle, I made a calm trip to the doctor. Even had a chance to blog about it on this very Blog and had very little pain even until I reached the advanced stages. I had already had c-sections no doctor would permit me to have a VBAC. I was forced to deliver her C-section, though I do know had I had a Doula or bothered to find a midwife center adjacent to a hospital, I could have had a safe vaginal delivery. Too late for me!

Indeed, this book is a good read because it empowers women with options. A more natural birthing experience either at home, at a midwife birthing center or with the assistance of a Doula trained to keep you calm and mediate your wishes with the hospital staff is and can always be possible and a very real alternative.

Lord knows all my plans of walking around, using a birthing ball to advance labor and breathing exercise went out the window the moment, my water was broken and I was strapped up on a table on my back with monitors taped to my tummy, a catheter inserted in my urethra (I know TMI) and an IV strapped on my arms!!

Aaaah! the beauty of hospital birthing! Thank Goodness for this very empowering book! It is indeed a worthwhile and quick read and helpful resource and I highly recommend it!

hey and you can...

GET THIS BOOK!!! YOUR BEST BIRTH GIVE-AWAY

THE Editors of the book are giving TWO BELLYITCH READERS a FREE COPY OF THE BOOK

You can enter more than one way:

1. twit this giveaway to your mom and pregnancy friends on twitter and include my twit name in the twit @jjghatt so I will know you tweeted it.
2. leave a comment with your name and some way of getting in contact with you in case you win. like an email or your own blog or website
3. post this giveaway to a mom or pregnancy message board, or some other online community for pregnant women and new mothers and leave a comment pointing me to that post
4. Post this give-a-way on your own blog and link back here. Leave a comment letting me know you made the post

This would make a great book for you or the pregnant woman in your life and would be a wonderful addition to their pregnancy book library!

CONTEST ENDS NEXT FRIDAY, MAY 8PM AT MIDNIGHT.