the #1 thing you must get clear with any nanny before she starts work

If I can impart one lesson to new mothers of infants and other small children who are hiring a nanny or an in home child care provider that will care for their child(ren) alone that is this:

SET THE PARAMETERS OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS FULLY UP FRONT!!

I mean write down everything that is important to you regarding their care of your child(ren) and give it to them in writing and explain your expectations, demands, requirements that come with the job up front.

For me, I didn't explain well enough with our first nanny that light housekeeping was expected and so later when I added that to her duties, she was quite reluctant and eventually stopped altogether and I think she felt she was underpaid. She eventually quit. Perhaps it is true, that it wasn't part of the bargaining for the pay upfront, understandably so. With that, you really need to make all of this clear up front. Do not take anything for granted.

Then, for GG's second child care provider, I didn't make clear my expectations and values regarding what I expected of her up front (e.g. I wanted my daughter to be read to regularly and to be allowed to play with her toys that are age appropriate; and I wanted the nanny to ask permission before administering any medicine or foods that I have not approved of; and I wanted her to take my child outdoors regularly for some fresh air). She does none of those regularly and the signs are there and when I confront her, I think she bends the truth as to whether she is complying with my desires. I could tell she is clearly lying. It is a shame, but I think I did not make it clear that these wishes were mandatory. Hrmpf!

These aren't major demands, but when you are working with or hiring someone with different value sets or from a different culture, you will definitely come across resistance to some of your wishes if you do not make it clear up front and in the beginning that you will not compromise.

Okay, I am done my vent and as I write this, I am taking steps to move GG into a day care environment where she will at least interact with other children and have appropriate play and stimulation during the day. I know I complain about the woman and do so often. She has her pluses and minuses, but I think this is it and I am really going to make a change.