How to look Old Money, whether you are new money or have no money

This week, I'm on a hunt to find a new coat although there is a slight possibility that the coats I have stored at Public Storage may be fine and could last me this winter season. I'm striving to save money, but I got a gig recently that requires me to cavort with a bunch of "old money" folks. I have to fit in, right? ha! At least one year ago, I shared with some friends my suggestions on what one needs in one's wardrobe to pull off the savvy and chic business woman look. I am the boss when it comes to looking quite moneyed indeed. I've fooled them all from Beverly Hills, to Park Avenue to Cayman Islands. Rarely questioned and often welcomed into the fold! Smart am I, the quick thinking, quick study and did I mention slightly narcissistic and cocky diva-ette I am! From examining and studying the stylings, habits and movements of the company of folks I've had to keep for the past 10 years working in the legal field, I believe I have come up with the formula for blending in:

Step 1: Stick with the classic colors, if you can. Khaki, Navy, Blue, Dark Brown, Grey, Black, Tan and maybe Pink. Nothing says, "Matilda, call security" like a bright orange and blue tie or a multicolored Pucci-style pair of leggins underneath your sheath dress. If you wanna blend in, keep it simple.

Step 2: No shabby, washed out and worn out stuff and definitely no pills! Synthetic fibers pill rather easily even after one wash. On those days you have to fake the funk, you've got to avoid any blended fiber products. Your clothes don't have to be new, but at least not look old. That is a given.

Step 3: Manicured nails that are not over 3 centimeters above your nail bed. Fake nails can work, but they have to be natural tone or French manicured style. By all means, no designs on your brightly colored index finger please. Old money has in fact discovered, in the past year, designs on the toes, so you can do those, but only on the big tone and in toned down neutral hues. Like you can do an orchid or a bonsai tree or a cherry blossom. Not the stars and stripes. That would be a wee bit too much. On the other side, no dirty, chewed nails. Excessive exposure of cuticle is a sure clue that you don't have enough free time (and money) to have weekly manicures.

Step 4: Polished shoes are a must. Scuff marks are a no-no. So are ratty exposed strings. They give away that you are not savvy and sophisticated enough to no that such outward evidence of sloppiness are nt allowed.

Step 5: Invest in a few quality pieces. While you don't necessarily have to spend the kind of money that old money people have on your clothing budget, there are a few key pieces that you should get in a high quality caliber if possible. That means well constructed. A sure sign of poor construction is the hems and seams. If they are flimsy, that is a good indicator that much time and effort wasn't put in creating a quality garment. Another indicator is durable This is where discount stores that sell "name brand" merchandise for much less like Loehmann's, TJ Maxx, Burlington Coat Factory, Marshalls, Ross, Filene's Basement and Syms come into play. Must have quality items include:

• A quality constructed durable handbag or briefcase. No logos necessary. Logos are an obession of the "common" man/woman. Kate Spade, Coach, Marc by Marc Jacobs and even some styles of Guess come in the $100-$150 range in retail. Michael Kors and Dior are pricier, but you can find vintage or discount pieces that are genuine. Chanel, Yve Saint Laurent and Fendi are favorites of old rich women, but are a bit too frousy for my taste, though they are classic.
• The classic black dress. Should be knee length or calf length. Again, in a good quality construction. I think Ralph Lauren makes great dresses and can be found in many discount stores. ABS, Alexander McQueen and Anne Klein make decent priced dresses I like.
• A wrap dress for business casual functions (Diane Von Furstenberg would do. Her stuff can be found aplenty at Loehmann's)
• A nice pair of riding boots. Cole Haan, Calvin Klein and Kenneth Cole have a nice selection of well constructed, durable and fashion forward boots that when maintained (read: polished regularly and not worn too often) will last you years!
• A wool coat. I like Searle, but they are a bit pricey, but you can get a good bargain at discount stores for like Calvin Klein or Anne Klein brands.
• A cashmere or Angora wool sweater.
• A string of pearls or faux fresh water pearls
• A pair of diamond studs or a good quality cubic zirconium
• A tailored suit or one that fits you to a T.
• A blazer. I've lucked out in getting nice expensive looking blazers at consignment stores located in wealthy areas
• A nice multicolored scarf or two made with geometric shapes. When you have a so so outfit on, nothing more can have you standing out than a great scarf wrapped or draped around you or tied on your neck. H&M sells great scarves for cheap!
• A classic white long sleeve collared shirt. I like the make that Brooks Brothers sell. Calvin Klein makes a good classic shirt that works well too.
• A silk black turtleneck is great to wear under a blazer.
• Tiffany style chunky jewelry like the classic toggle bracelet or charm bracelet. A fat chunky ring and some long costume jewelry from top lines. Not the crap they sell at Express, NY & Company, and definitely not the teenie boppy stuff that stores like Claire's sell.
• Smell good. If you go with a nice fragrance that works with your body chemistry, invest in the bath gel and lotion that way the scent will last almost all day on you, versus if you just spray it on your pressure fragrance points (wrist, behind ears, naval, back of neck, ankles). Carry a handbag mini diffuser version in your purse.

Step 6: Don't talk about money. Especially not your money woes. Only new money folks brag about how much they have in their bank account. They want everyone within ear shot to appreciate and respect them for the mere fact that they have money. New money people boast about what their nannies did or that they've called for a car to come fetch them for their weekend trip to the Hamptons or Martha's Vineyard or the Outer Banks. Daaahling. They talk nonstop over their new stroller, that the Bugaboo was just not cutting it and they had to get the MacLaren double for the twins. They go on and on about their extensive art or jazz album collection or their love for expensive wines. Blah Blah blah blah! Give it a rest, will ya! Nobody cares! Your new money is showing.

Old money folks have had it for years and have nothing to prove to anyone. They exude a certain confidence which comes from years of having access to whatever and whomever they want. You can't buy that stuff, though you can fake it! I've found old money folks, sometimes, to be more genuine and friendly. They are not competing with you to the top of the ladder nor see you as a threat. They are already, or have been at the top, and they are not threatened by your ambition. They are more likely humored by it.

Step 7: Practice good posture. If you are a man, that means no haunching over and if you are a woman, try pilates or ballet class to have you standing stronger higher. You don't have to have your nose up in the air, but there is a ginormous difference between the way a wallflower walks into the room and the way an heiress sashays in a room. Heads turn. People stop and think to themselves, "who is that? should I know him/her?"

and all of these is presumed on the fact that one has the educational pedigree if not the bloodline pedigree to pull it off. A command of basic grammar, an understanding of current events and a world view that expands beyond the borders of your hometown is good for starters. A decent knowledge of common phrases, places and cultural issues affecting your wannabe circle of friends would do just fine.

Famous posers whose lives have been turned into plays/movies:

David Hampton (April 4,1964 – July 18, 2003) was an American con artist who gained infamy in the 1980s after milking a group of wealthy Manhattanites out of thousands of dollars by convincing them he was Sidney Poitier's son. His story became the inspiration for a play and later a movie, titled Six Degrees of Separation. This is when I realized Will Smith had pure acting chops!

Catch Me if You Can is a 2002 black comedy film loosely based on Frank Abagnale Jr.'s autobiography. Before his 19th birthday, Frank successfully conned millions of dollars worth of checks as a Pan Am pilot, doctor, and Louisiana prosecutor. Leonardo diCaprio did an excellent job protraying Frank.

Other ConMen...women must be too slick to get caught! hahaha