9. You need to sleep when the baby sleeps - yup. just as soon as i pay off these bills, make these phone calls and run these errands that I can't do when she's awake.
8. You're done right? you don't plan to have any more kids - don't understand why people like to be all up in my fallopian tubes and ovaries.
7. You should feed her/him cereal it will make him/her sleep longer - okay, she's 2 weeks old...i think her digestive system is still warming up to the idea of milk
6. You're still breastfeeding? folks, breastfeeding is the best and natural thing for babies, I don't understand the disdain for moms who do it past a month
5. Babysitting horror stories -not something a new parent wants to hear...and yes yes, I did hear the story of the nanny who smacked up the baby...
4. Is s/he sleeping through the night? - why? you want to go on a date tonight?
3. When are you due? - ugh. that belly takes a good while to get rid of don't ya know. Actually, I asked this of a clerk at a Verizon wireless store who had just given birth and she smiled politely and told me she wasn't preggers but then proceeded to code my phone incorrectly and saddled me with huge bills that took months to correct. I learned my lesson boy. And if you ever opened up a cell phone statement and saw the numbers $512.98 staring at you for one month of personal/non-business use, then you'd know where I'm coming from...
2. Peering at the child, turning up your nose and saying...oh s/he's sooo...er...precious - words like "precious", "sweet" and "adorable" are code for not cute. Even tho you may not think their child is ugly, a new parent may take it that way...but then again what's a person to do when the baby's not cute...yet? they don't all start out beautiful as many end up.
1. Aww...so cute...do you know who the daddy is? - no commentary needed
What else folks?? Please add
My favorite while you're still pregnant--how's the baby doing? umm-well i suppose just fine considering I can't see it, hear it, or talk to it yet! My husband told me that next time someone asks, I should stick my finger in my mouth, lift up my shirt, stick my finger in my belly bottom, pull it out, look at it and say "yep just fine"