"So, when are you going to have kids?" - Top 10 replies

On request, a friend of mine who has been married for a wee bit suggested I do a top 10 list for people like her who get that "million dollar question" all the time:

"So, when are you going to have kids?"

I learned a while ago, after having a miscarriage and learning of many friends who are in fact trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant that it is just not kosher to ask people that question because of the risk of stirring up deep seated emotions, hurt, and pain. But in fun, here are a few quips that might work:

10. "So, when are you going to have kids?" - I read somewhere that you produce the absolute smartest child if s/he is conceived during the Haley's Comet so I'm thinking the year 2062.

9 . "So, when are you going to have kids?" -As soon as I see that check you sent for the half a million dollars the baby will cost clears, I'm on it!

8. "So, when are you going to have kids?" -Tomorrow.

7. "So, when are you going to have kids?" -Just as soon as I finish smoking my last stash of weed

6. "So, when are you going to have kids?" - I'm glad you asked, I need the best email address to send the "nursing" sign up sheet. Would you mind I ask if you are lactating?

5. "So, when are you going to have kids?" -I'll take 10 and a side of fries. Oh you said "kids" I thought you said "Wings".

4. "So, when are you going to have kids?" - Just as soon as you learn to mind your business.

3. "So, when are you going to have kids?" - Why? Are you selling some?

2. "So, when are you going to have kids?" -Let me get back to you on that. I only answer personal questions on the third Tuesday of each month.

1. "So, when are you going to have kids?" - Not for another...um at least nine months.

Check out the Wall Street Journal Blog did a similar story recently and another blogger did a post entry asking her readers to submit answers and got loads of responses including #4, #3 and #1 which I borrowed.